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第41部分

t Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on

his forehead。〃 Jacob's face

turned hopeless。 〃It won't be long now。 There's no exact age it just builds

and builds and then

suddenly—〃 He broke off; and it was a moment before he could speak again。

〃Sometimes; if you get

really upset or something; that can trigger it early。 But I wasn't upset about

anything—I was happy。〃 He

laughed bitterly。 〃Because of you; mostly。 That's why it didn't happen to me

sooner。 Instead it just kept

on building up inside me—I was like a time bomb。 You know what set me off? I

got back from that

movie and Billy said I looked weird。 That was all; but I just snapped。 And

then I—I exploded。 I almost

ripped his face off—my own father!〃 He shuddered; and his face paled。

〃Is it really bad; Jake?〃 I asked anxiously; wishing I had some way to help

him。 〃Are you miserable?〃

〃No; I'm not miserable;〃 he told me。 〃Not anymore。 Not now that you know。 That

was hard; before。〃 He

leaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head。

He was quiet for a moment; and I wondered what he was thinking about。 Maybe I

didn't want to know。

〃What's the hardest part?〃 I whispered; still wishing I could help。

〃The hardest part is feeling out of control;〃 he said slowly。 〃Feeling like

I can't be sure of myself—like

maybe you shouldn't be around me; like maybe nobody should。 Like I'm a monster

who might hurt

somebody。 You've seen Emily。 Sam lost control of his temper for just one

second and she was

standing too close。 And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right

again。 I hear his thoughts—I