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第61部分

e—that

you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth

for hours to even plant the

seed of doubt in your head。 I lied; and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt

you; sorry because it was a

worthless effort。 Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I an。 I lied to

save you; and it didn't work。

I'm sorry。

〃But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I

love you; how could you let

one word break your faith in me?〃

I didn't answer。 I was too shocked to form a rational response。

〃I could see it in your eyes; that you honestly believed that I didn't want

you anymore。 The most absurd;

ridiculous concept—as if there were anu way that I could exist without

needing you!〃

I was still frozen。 His words were inprehensible; because they were

impossible。

He shook my shoulder again; not hard; but enough that my teeth rattled a

little。

〃Bella;〃 he sighed。 〃Really; what were you thinking!〃

And so I started to cry。 The tears welled up and then gushed miserably down my

cheeks。

〃I knew it;〃 I sobbed。 〃I knew I was dreaming。〃

〃You're impossible;〃 he said; and he laughed once—a hard laugh; frustrated。

〃How can I put this so that

you'll believe me? You're not asleep; and you're not dead。 I'm here; and I

love you。 I have always loved

you; and I will always love you。 I was thinking of you; seeing your face in my

mind; every second that I

was away。 When I told you that I didn't want you; it was the very blackest

kind of blasphemy。〃

I shook my head while the tears continued to ooze from the corners of my eyes。

〃You d