I　was　with　you。

So　I　had　to　try。　I　had　to

do　something；　and　it　seemed　like　leaving　was　the　only　way。　If　I　hadn't　thought

you　would　be　better　off；　I

could　have　never　made　myself　leave。　I'm　much　too　selfish。　Only　you　could　be

more　important　than　what　I

wanted　what　I　needed。　What　I　want　and　need　is　to　be　with　you；　and　I　know

I'll　never　be　strong

enough　to　leave　again。　I　have　too　many　excuses　to　stay—thank　heaven　for　that！

It　seems　you　can't　be

safe；　no　matter　how　many　miles　I　put　between　us。〃

〃Don't　promise　me　anything；〃　I　whispered。　If　I　let　myself　hope；　and　it　came　to

nothing　that　would　kill

me。　Where　all　those　merciless　vampires　had　not　been　able　to　finish　me　off；

hope　would　do　the　job。

Anger　glinted　metallic　in　his　black　eyes。　〃You　think　I'm　lying　to　you　now？〃

〃No—not　lying。〃　I　shook　my　head；　trying　to　think　it　through　coherently。　To

examine　the　hypothesis　that

he　did　love　me；　while　staying　objective；　clinical；　so　I　wouldn't　fall　into　the

trap　of　hoping。　〃You　could

mean　it　now。　But　what　about　tomorrow；　when　you　think　about　all　the　reasons

you　left　in　the　first

place？　Or　next　month；　when　Jasper　takes　a　snap　at　me？〃

He　flinched。

I　thought　back　over　those　last　days　of　my　life　before　he　left　me；　tried　to　see

them　through　the　filter　of

what　he　was　telling　me　now。　From　that　perspective；　imagining　that　he'd　left　me

while　loving　me；　left　me

for　me；　his　brooding　and　cold　silences　took　on　a　different　meaning。　〃It　isn't

as　if　you　hadn't　thought　the

first　decision　through；　is　it？〃　I　guessed。　〃You'll　end　up　doing　what　you　think

is　right。〃

〃I'm　not　as　strong　as