ant　to　leave。

This　was　Washington；　though；　and　the　inevitable　rain　eventually　broke　up　the

party；　Billy's　living　room

was　much　too　small　to　provide　an　option　for　continuing　the　get…together。　Harry

had　driven　Charlie　down；

so　we　rode　together　in　my　truck　on　the　way　back　home。　He　asked　about　my　day；

and　I　told　mostly　the

truth—that　I'd　gone　with　Jacob　to　look　at　parts　and　then　watched　him　work　in

his　garage。

〃You　think　you'll　visit　again　anytime　soon？〃　he　wondered；　trying　to　be　casual

about　it。

〃Tomorrow　after　school；〃　I　admitted。　〃I'll　take　homework；　don't　worry。〃

〃You　be　sure　to　do　that；〃　he　ordered；　trying　to　disguise　his　satisfaction。

I　was　nervous　when　we　got　to　the　house。　I　didn't　want　to　go　upstairs。　The

warmth　of　Jacob's　presence

was　fading　and；　in　its　absence；　the　anxiety　grew　stronger。　I　was　sure　I

wouldn't　get　away　with　two

peaceful　nights　of　sleep　in　a　row。

To　put　bedtime　off；　I　checked　my　e…mail；　there　was　a　new　message　from　Renee。

She　wrote　about　her　day；　a　new　book　club　that　rilled　the　time　slot　of　the

meditation　classes　she'd　just

quit；　her　week　subbing　in　the　second　grade；　missing　her　kindergarteners。　She

wrote　that　Phil　was

enjoying　his　new　coaching　job；　and　that　they　were　planning　a　second　honeymoon

trip　to　Disney　World。

And　I　noticed　that　the　whole　thing　read　like　a　journal　entry；　rather　than　a

letter　to　someone　else。　Remorse

flooded　through　me；　leaving　an　unfortable　sting　behind。　Some　daughter　I

was。

I　wrote　back　to　her　quickly；　menting　on　each　part　of　her　letter；

volunteering　information　of　my

own—describing　the　spaghetti　party　at　Billy'