worked　my　way　backward

through　dinner　with　Billy；　Jacob；　and　C　harlie；　to　the　long　afternoon　in　the

Blacks'　house；　waiting

anxiously　to　hear　something　from　Jacob；　to　Emily's　kitchen；　to　the　horror　of

the　werewolf　fight；　to　talking

with　Jacob　on　the　beach。

I　thought　about　what　Jacob　had　said　early　this　morning；　about　hypocrisy。　I

thought　about　that　for　a　long

time。　I　didn't　like　to　think　that　I　was　a　hypocrite；　only　what　was　the　point

of　lying　to　myself？

I　curled　into　a　tight　ball。　No；　Edward　wasn't　a　killer。　Even　in　his　darker

past；　he'd　never　been　a　murderer

of　innocents；　at　least。

But　what　if　he　had　been？　What　if；　during　the　time　I　that　I'd　known　him；　he'd

been　just　like　any　other

vampire？　What　if　people　had　been　disappearing　from　the　woods；　just　like　now？

Would　that　have　kept

me　away　from　him？

I　shook　my　head　sadly。　Love　is　irrational；　I　reminded　myself。　The　more　you

loved　someone；　the　less

sense　anything　made。

I　rolled　over　and　tried　to　think　of　something　else—and　I　thought　of　Jacob　and

his　brothers；　out　running　in

the　darkness。　I　fell　asleep　imagining　the　wolves；　invisible　in　the　night；

guarding　me　from　danger。　When　I

dreamed；　I　stood　in　the　forest　again；　but　I　didn't　wander。　I　was　holding

Emily's　scarred　hand　as　we　faced

into　the　shadows　and　waited　anxiously　for　our　werewolves　to　e　home。

15。　PRESSURE

IT　WAS　SPRING　BREAK　IN　FORKS　AGAIN。　WHEN　I　WOKE　UP　on　Monday　morning；　I　lay　in

bed　for　a　few　seconds　absorbing　that。　Last　spring　break；　I'd　been　hunted　by　a

vampire；　too。　I　hoped　this

wasn't　some　kind　of　tradition　forming。

Already　I　was　fall