accused　himself　as　we　walked　back　up

the　beach。

〃No；　you're　not。　I　didn't　have　any　plans。　I　don't　think　I　like　spring　breaks；

anyway。〃

〃I'll　take　tomorrow　morning　off。　The　others　can　run　without　me。　We'll　do

something　fun。〃

The　word　seemed　out　of　place　in　my　life　right　now；　barely　prehensible；

bizarre。　〃Fun？〃

〃Fun　is　exactly　what　you　need。　Hmm〃　he　gazed　out　across　the　heaving　gray

waves；　deliberating。　As　his

eyes　scanned　the　horizon；　he　had　a　flash　of　inspiration。

〃Got　it！〃　he　crowed。　〃Another　promise　to　keep。〃

〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃

He　let　go　of　my　hand　and　pointed　toward　the　southern　edge　of　the　beach；　where

the　flat；　rocky

half…moon　dead…ended　against　the　sheer　sea　cliffs。　I　stared；　unprehending。

〃Didn't　I　promise　to　take　you　cliff　diving？〃

I　shivered。

〃Yeah；　it'll　be　pretty　cold—not　as　cold　as　it　is　today。　Can　you　feel　the

weather　changing？　The　pressure？

It　will　be　warmer　tomorrow。　You　up　for　it？〃

The　dark　water　did　not　look　inviting；　and；　from　this　angle；　the　cliffs　looked

even　higher　than　before。

But　it　had　been　days　since　I'd　heard　Edward's　voice。　That　was　probably　part　of

the　problem。　I　was

addicted　to　the　sound　of　my　delusions。　It　made　things　worse　if　I　went　too　long

without　them。　Jumping　off

a　cliff　was　certain　to　remedy　that　situation。

〃Sure；　I'm　up　for　it。　Fun。〃

〃It's　a　date；〃　he　said；　and　draped　his　arm　around　my　shoulders。

〃Okay—now　let's　go　get　you　some　sleep。〃　I　didn't　like　the　way　the　circles

under　his　eyes　were　beginning

to　look　permanently　etched　onto　his　skin。

I　woke　early　the　next　morning　and　snuck　a　change　of　clot