s　okay；　Bella；　it's　okay。　I　won't　bring　it　up　again。

I'm　sorry。〃

〃I'm　fine。〃　I　gasped。　〃Happens　all　the　time。　Not　your　fault。〃

〃We're　a　pretty　messed…up　pair；　aren't　we？〃　Jacob　said。　〃Neither　one　of　us　can

hold　our　shape　together

right。〃

〃Pathetic；〃　I　agreed；　still　breathless。

〃At　least　we　have　each　other；〃　he　said；　clearly　forted　by　the　thought。

I　was　forted；　too。　〃At　least　there's　that；〃　I　agreed。

And　when　we　were　together；　it　was　fine。　But　Jacob　had　a　horrible；　dangerous

job　he　felt　pelled　to

do；　and　so　I　was　often　alone；　stuck　in　La　Push　for　safety；　with　nothing　to　do

to　keep　my　mind　off　any　of

my　worries。

I　felt　awkward；　always　taking　up　space　at　Billy's。　I　did　some　studying　for

another　Calculus　test　that　was

ing　up　next　week；　but　I　could　only　look　at　math　for　so　long。　When　I　didn't

have　something　obvious　to

do　in　my　hands；

I　felt　like　I　ought　to　be　making　conversation　with　Billy—the　pressure　of

normal　societal　rules。　But　Billy

wasn't　one　for　filling　up　the　long　silences；　and　so　the　awkwardness　continued。

I　tried　hanging　out　at　Emily's　place　Wednesday　afternoon；　for　a　change。　At

first　it　was　kind　of　nice。　Emily

was　a　cheerful　person　who　never　sat　still。　I　drifted　behind　her　while　she

flitted　around　her　little　house　and

yard；　scrubbing　at　the　spotless　floor；　pulling　a　tiny　weed；　fixing　a　broken

hinge；　tugging　a　string　of　wool

through　an　ancient　loom；　and　always　cooking；　too。　She　plained　lightly　about

the　increase　in　the　boys'

appetites　from　all　their　extra　running；　but　it　was　easy　to　see　she　didn't　mind

taking　care　of　them。　It　wasn't

hard　to　be　w