esday；　but　no　one　answered。　Were　the　phone　lines　still　having

problems？　Or　had　Billy

invested　in　caller　I。D。？

On　Wednesday　I　called　every　half　hour　until　after　eleven　at　night；　desperate

to　hear　the　warmth　of

Jacob's　voice。

Thursday　I　sat　in　my　truck　in　front　of　my　house—with　the　locks　pushed　down—

keys　in　hand；　for　a　solid

hour。　I　was　arguing　with　myself；　trying　to　justify　a　quick　trip　to　La　Push；

but　I　couldn't　do　it。

I　knew　that　Laurent　had　gone　back　to　Victoria　by　now。　If　I　went　to　La　Push；　I

took　the　chance　of　leading

one　of　them　there。　What　if　they　caught　up　to　me　when　Jake　was　nearby？　As　much

as　it　hurt　me；　I　knew　it

was　better　for　Jacob　that　he　was　avoiding　me。　Safer　for　him。

It　was　bad　enough　that　I　couldn't　figure　out　a　way　to　keep　Charlie　safe。

Nighttime　was　the　most　likely

time　that　they　would　e　looking　ior　me；　and　what　could　I　say　to　get　Charlie

out　of　the　house？　If　I　told

him　the　truth；　he'd　have　me　locked　up　in　a　rubber　room　somewhere。　I　would　have

endured

that—weled　it；　even—if　it　could　have　kept　him　safe。　But　Victoria　would

still　e　to　his　house　first；

looking　for　me。　Maybe；　if　she　found　me　here；　that　would　be　enough　for　her。

Maybe　she　would　just　leave

when　she　was　done　with　me。

So　I　couldn't　run　away。　Even　if　I　could；　where　would　I　go？　To　Renee？　I

shuddered　at　the　thought　of

dragging　my　lethal　shadows　into　my　mother's　safe；　sunny　world。　I　would　never

endanger　her　that　way。

The　worry　was　eating　a　hole　in　my　stomach。　Soon　I　would　have　matching

punctures。

That　night；　Charlie　did　me　another　favor　and　called　Harry　again　to　see　if　the