o　longer　see　the　end　ing。　Just　the　horrible　nothingness—half　the

time　in　the　forest；　half　the　time

in　the　empty　fern　sea　where　the　white　house　no　longer　existed。　Sometimes　Sam

Uley　was　there　in　the

forest；　watching　me　again。　I　paid　him　no　attention—there　was　no　fort　in

his　presence；　it　made　me　feel

no　less　alone。　It　didn't　stop　me　from　screaming　myself　awake；　night　after

night。

The　hole　in　my　chest　was　worse　than　ever。　I'd　thought　that　I'd　been　getting　it

under　control；　but　I　found

myself　hunched　over；　day　after　day；　clutching　my　sides　together　and　gasping

for　air。

I　wasn't　handling　alone　well。

I　was　relieved　beyond　measure　the　morning　I　woke　up—screaming；　of　course—and

remembered　that　it

was　Saturday。　Today　I　could　call　Jacob。　And　if　the　phone　lines　still　weren't

working；　then　I　was　going　to

La　Push。　One　way　or　another；　today　would　be　better　than　the　last　lonely　week。

I　dialed；　and　then　waited　without　high　expectations。

It　caught　me　off　guard　when　Billy　answered　on　the　second　ring。

〃Hello？〃

〃Oh；　hey；　the　phone　is　working　again！　Hi；　Billy。　It's　Bella。　I　was　just

calling　to　see　how　Jacob　is　doing。　Is

he　up　for　visitors　yet？　I　was　thinking　about　dropping　by—〃

〃I'm　sorry；　Bella；〃　Billy　interrupted；　and　I　wondered　if　he　were　watching　TV；

he　sounded　distracted。

〃He's　not　in。〃

〃Oh。〃　It　took　me　a　second。　〃So　he's　feeling　better　then？〃

〃Yeah；〃　Billy　hesitated　for　an　instant　too　long。　〃Turns　out　it　wasn't　mono

after　all。　Just　some　other　virus。〃

〃Oh。　So　where　is　he？〃

〃He's　giving　some　friends　a　ride　up　to　Port　Angeles—I　think　they　were　going

to　catch　a　double