leep　unless　a　clean　napkin　in　a　certain　way　was　placed　under　my　head；　which　napkin　I　called　“an　ear。”　To　this　day　I　have　dim　recollections　of　crying　bitterly　until　this　“ear”　was　brought　to　me。　Also　I　was　stupid。　Indeed；　although　she　always　indignantly　denied　the　story　in　after　years；　I　remember　when　I　was　about　seven　my　dear　mother　declaring　that　I　was　as　heavy　as　lead　in　body　and　mind。

I　fear　that　I　was　more　or　less　of　a　dunderhead　at　lessons。　Even　my　letters　presented　difficulties　to　me；　and　I　well　recollect　a　few　years　later　being　put　through　an　examination　by　my　future　brother…inlaw；　the　Rev。　Charles　Maddison　Green；　with　the　object　of　ascertaining　what　amount　of　knowledge　I　had　acquired　at　a　day　school　in　London；　where　we　then　were　living　at　24　Leinster　Square。

The　results　of　this　examination　were　so　appalling　that　when　he　was　apprised　of　them　my　indignant　father　burst　into　the　room　where　I　sat　resigned　to　fate；　and；　in　a　voice　like　to　that　of　an　angry　bull；　roared　out　at　me　that　I　was　“only　fit　to　be　a　greengrocer。”　Even　then　I　wondered　why　this　affront　should　be　put　upon　a　useful　trade。　After　the　row　was　over　I　went　for　a　walk　with　my　brother　Andrew　who　was　two　years　older　than　myself　and　who；　it　appeared；　had　assisted　at　my　disfiture　from　behind　a　door。　Just　ain　street；　I　think　it　is　Westbourne　Grove　—　at　any　rate　in　those　days　Whiteley　had　a　single　little　shop　not　far　off　at　which　my　mother　used　to　deal　—　there　is；　or　was；　a　fruit　and　vegetable　store　with　no　glass　in　the　window。　My　brother　stood　contemplating　it　for　a　long　while。　At　last　he　said：

“I　say；　old　fellow；　when　you　bee　a　greengrocer；　I　hope　you’ll　let　me　have　oranges　cheap！”

To　this　day　I　have　never　quite　forgiven　Andrew　for　that　most　heartless　remark。

After　all　it　w