ndmaidens　ready　to　hold　up　my　hands　in　the　task。　I　intended　to

discourse　learnedly　upon　my　educational　experiences；　and　I　was　unusually

anxious　to　do　my　best。　I　had　a　working　plan　in　my　head　for　the　essay；

which　was　to　be　grave；　wise；　and　abounding　in　ideas。　Moreover；　it　was　to

have　an　academic　flavour　suggestive　of　sheepskin；　and　the　reader　was　to

be　duly　impressed　with　the　austere　dignity　of　cap　and　gown。　I　shut

myself　up　in　the　study；　resolved　to　beat　out　on　the　keys　of　my

typewriter　this　immortal　chapter　of　my　life…history。　Alexander　was　no

more　confident　of　conquering　Asia　with　the　splendid　army　which　his

father　Philip　had　disciplined　than　I　was　of　finding　my　mental　house　in

order　and　my　thoughts　obedient。　My　mind　had　had　a　long　vacation；　and　I

was　now　ing　back　to　it　in　an　hour　that　it　looked　not　for　me。　My

situation　was　similar　to　that　of　the　master　who　went　into　a　far　country

and　expected　on　his　home　ing　to　find　everything　as　he　left　it。　But

returning　he　found　his　servants　giving　a　party。　Confusion　was　rampant。

There　was　fiddling　and　dancing　and　the　babble　of　many　tongues；　so　that

the　voice　of　the　master　could　not　be　heard。　Though　he　shouted　and　beat

upon　the　gate；　it　remained　closed。

So　it　was　with　me。　I　sounded　the　trumpet　loud　and　long；　but　the　vassals

of　thought　would　not　rally　to　my　standard。　Each　had　his　arm　round　the

waist　of　a　fair　partner；　and　I　know　not　what　wild　tunes　〃put　life　and

mettle　into　their　heels。〃　There　was　nothing　to　do。　I　looked　about

helplessly　upon　my　great　retinue；　and　realized　that　it　is　not　the

possession　of　a　thing　but　the　ability　to　use　it　which　is　of　value。　I

settled