關燈 巨大 直達底部
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第12部分

in a sort of perpetual dream。 The testimony of parents and friends who

watched me day after day is the only means that I have of knowing the

actuality of those early; obscure years of my childhood。 The physical

acts of going to bed and waking in the morning alone mark the transition

from reality to Dreamland。 As near as I can tell; asleep or awake I only

felt with my body。 I can recollect no process which I should now dignify

with the term of thought。 It is true that my bodily sensations were

extremely acute; but beyond a crude connection with physical wants they

are not associated or directed。 They had little relation to each other;

to me or the experience of others。 Idea……that which gives identity and

continuity to experience……came into my sleeping and waking existence at

the same moment with the awakening of self…consciousness。 Before that

moment my mind was in a state of anarchy in which meaningless sensations

rioted; and if thought existed; it was so vague and inconsequent; it

cannot be made a part of discourse。 Yet before my education began; I

dreamed。 I know that I must have dreamed because I recall no break in my

tactual experiences。 Things fell suddenly; heavily。 I felt my clothing

afire; or I fell into a tub of cold water。 Once I smelt bananas; and the

odour in my nostrils was so vivid that in the morning; before I was

dressed; I went to the sideboard to look for the bananas。 There were no

bananas; and no odour of bananas anywhere! My life was in fact a dream

throughout。

The likeness between my waking state and the sleeping one is still

marked。 In both states I see; but not with my eyes。 I hear; bu