ed；　three…armed；

no…balled　freak。　Blair　would　be　all　over　him　then。

Captain　Archibald　raised　his　glass　with　a　smug　smirk；　and　Nate　felt　his　chin　begin　to　quiver　as　he

gripped　the　roach　in　his　pocket。

Prison？s　not　looking　so　bad　now；　is　it？

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ABC　Amber　LIT　Converter　v2。02

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Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to

protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。

hey　people！

The　days　until　we　leave　for　college　are　tick；　tick；　ticking　away；　and　our　mailboxes　are　piling　up

with　college　orientation　packets。　You　might　be　tempted　to　actually　read　those　flashy　booklets　sent

by　your　school　in　their　collegiate　colors；　but　really？get…to…know…you　camping　trips？

Meet…and…greet　on…campus　sessions？　Let　me　tell　you；　there？s　no　better　way　to　be　labeled　a　dork

than　to　fall　for　that　one。　Do　you　really　want　to　get　introduced　to　that　lax　hottie　down　the　hall　with

leaves　in　your　hair　and　bear　poo　smeared　all　over　your

never…before…worn…and…never…to…be…worn…again　North　Face　hiking　boots？　Honestly。　Trust　falls　are

for　losers　without　trust　funds。　You？ve　just　got　to　trust　me　on　this　one！

So　here？s　my　question；　people：　why　can？t　the　deans　figure　out　a　way　to　make　college　orientation

not　a　repeat　of　fifth…grade　summer　camp？　As　usual；　it？s　up　to　me　to　show　those　stuffy　academic

types　the　way。

suggestions　for　making　college　orientation　fun　instead　of　unbearably　loserish

（1）　Bonding　activities。Ban　all　camping　trips；　sightseeing　tours；　or　campus　scavenger

hunts。Nobody　wants　to　be　dragged　around　a　muddy　forest；　sit　in　a　stale…smelli