to　Dan。　？Like　。　。　。　I　don？t　know　exactly；？　he　stammered；　wishing　the　parquet　floor

would　just　open　up　and　swallow　him　whole。　His　mother　had　traveled　three　thousand　miles　just　to

give　him　a　penis　pastry？　She　was　back　because　he？d　e　out　of　the　closet？　He　was　going　tokill

Jenny　for　opening　her　little　mouth。　Besides；　what　did　penises　have　to　do　with　anything？　There　was

nothing　sexual　about　his　conundrum。

Wasn？t　there？

Rufus　shrugged　and　took　another　bite　of　mustard…brown　slop。　？And　here　I　thought　Jeanie　just

missed　me？ha！？　Dan？s　hand　flew　to　his　chest　in　an　unconscious　and　totally　effeminate　gesture。

Rufus　continued；　an　insane…looking　grin　now　plastered　to　his　bearded　face。　？Well；　you？ll

remember　what　you？re　missing　now；　won？t　you　Jean…Jean？　Andthen　you？ll　be　sick　of　living　like

royalty　in　Europe。？　He　shook　the　lime　green　apparatus　at　her　and　turned　back　to　Dan。　？Does　this

mean　I　need　to　learn　to　cook　quiche？？　he　asked。

？Anyway；？　Jeanette　sang　out；　ignoring　her　estranged　husband　as　she　began　pulling　what　looked

like　yards　of　magenta　silk　out　of　a　large　white　box。　？I　brought　you　some　gifts　to　mark　this　very

important　transition　into　your　new　lifestyle。　Look！？　She　held　up　what　appeared　to　be　a　fuchsia

pink　jumpsuit　with　sparkling　gold　laces　up　the　front。　As　she　excitedly　held　it　up　to　Dan？s　body；　it

became　immediately　apparent　that　it　was　about　ten　sizes　too　small？which　was　only　fitting；　since

the　last　present　she？d　sent　had　been　size…four　lederhosen　from　D？sseldorf　when　he　was　ten。　Dan

closed　his　eyes　again　and　silently　wished　that　he　and　Vanessa　hadn？t　removed　the　ancient　stacks　of

newspapers　today？maybe　then　the　piles　of　clutter　could　have　f