nd；　if　he　didn？t　rub　Babs　with　ointment　she？d

tell　Coach　Michaels　he？d　been　smoking　pot　on　the　job。　The　coach　probably　wouldn？t　give　Nate

his　diploma　at　the　end　of　the　summer；　which　would　mean　no　more　Yale；　and　basically　his　whole

entire　life　would　be　fucked　up。

His　choices　were　slightly　limited。

？Where？s　the　ointment？？　he　asked　Babs；　closing　his　eyes　as　he　dabbed　it　on。　He　searched　his

stoned　brain　for　something　nonsexual　to　talk　about。　？Um；　after　this　I　gotta　get　that　mower　out　of

the　sun；　otherwise　she　might　blow。　I　don？t　want　to　start　any　fires。？

Too　late；　honey。Too　late。

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ABC　Amber　LIT　Converter　v2。02

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Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to

protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。

hey　people！

Isn？t　fate　funny？　You　think　you？ve　got　some　control　over　things；　you　think　you？re　in　charge　of

life；　but　really；　e　on？we？re　all　just　at　the　mercy　of　the　universe。　I　mean；　we　all　read　our

horoscopes；　don？t　we？　And　we　all　know　there　are　some　people　who　are　just　。　。　。　connected。　It

doesn？t　always　make　sense；　but　it？s　not　worth　fighting。　So　I？m　happy　to　report　an　early…bird

sighting：B　slipping　out　of　the　van　der　Woodsens？　master　bedroom　to　grab　a　fresh　bottle　of　water；

wearingN　？s　olive　green　polo　（and　nothing　else）。　It？s　just　fate；　people。　Get　used　to　it。

The　postparty　e…mails　are　starting　to　trickle　in；　and　it　seems　the　big　blowout　was　every　bit　as

eventful　as　a　Costume　Institute　gala。　Minus　the　gowns？or　any　clothes　whatsoever。　But　the　thing

everyone？s　talking　about　is　the　birthday　girl　and　the　boy　who　m