see　nothing　but　the　dark　and　the　rain　falling　across　the　light　from　the　window。　So　that　was　it。　The　baby　was　dead。　That　was　why　the　doctor　looked　so　tired。　But　why　had　they　acted　the　way　they　did　in　the　room　with　him？　They　supposed　he　would　e　around　and　start　breathing　probably。　I　had　no　religion　but　I　knew　he　ought　to　have　been　baptized。　But　what　if　he　never　breathed　at　all。　He　hadn't。　He　had　never　been　alive。　Except　in　Catherine。　I'd　felt　him　kick　there　often　enough。　But　I　hadn't　for　a　week。　Maybe　he　was　choked　all　the　time。　Poor　little　kid。　I　wished　the　hell　I'd　been　choked　like　that。　No　I　didn't。　Still　there　would　not　be　all　this　dying　to　go　through。　Now　Catherine　would　die。　That　was　what　you　did。　You　died。　You　did　not　know　what　it　was　about。　You　never　had　time　to　learn。　They　threw　you　in　and　told　you　the　rules　and　the　first　time　they　caught　you　off　base　they　killed　you。　Or　they　killed　you　gratuitously　like　Aymo。　Or　gave　you　the　syphilis　like　Rinaldi。　But　they　killed　you　in　the　end。　You　could　count　on　that。　Stay　around　and　they　would　kill　you。

Once　in　camp　I　put　a　log　on　top　of　the　fire　and　it